亲密治疗

我觉得电影一般般，喋喋不休的残疾诗人，可爱的神父，敬业的性治疗师。

在经过性治疗师的六次治疗下，两个人的情感变味了，使得对本身职业的一种渎职，对待残疾人需要的是关爱和怜悯，感情用事会加深伤害。

特殊的行业有一定的危险性，需要很好心理素质的专业人完成，如电影里的性治疗师，虽然专业，但心理素质不够，太圣人。

由一开始的情于不色，到后面掺杂了个人情感，就变得色了，女人如果一首诗就能被打动的话我也无话可说。

一直保持专业与理智的角度，我会看作是部好电影

一句话点评：中规中矩，以纯洁态度写非凡性事。

请问有为广大女性服务的男性性爱治疗师吗？

这部电影，无论是摄影、叙事、剪辑还是基调，都是常规之作。

但遇到这样的偏门题材——自由患小儿麻痹症的人接受专业性爱治疗师身体力行的治疗，玩太多影像花样，会显得装逼，装逼就显得既不尊重残障人士，又不尊重性爱治疗师，更不尊重宗教伦理。

但作品绝对有诚意。

说说开头细节，猫从户外跳进室内，一来反衬睡在铁肺里的马克行动毫无自由，二来猫咪用尾巴扫一把马克的鼻子，就能折磨他无奈地默念“用意念瘙痒”——乐观纯真的性格立现。

再说影片结尾，猫咪站在空铁肺上，似怀念主人，也似告诉我们马克的一生有多短暂——请考虑下猫的寿命。

马克短暂而脆弱的生命是精彩的，他全身只有一个头能动，离开铁肺只能活三四个小时，还得时常吸氧，但他却是个诗人。

如果你明白一颗诗人的心，就该知道三十八岁的马克，对性，或者说能唤起性的爱意，渴望到了何种程度；如果你明白一颗诗人的心，就明白连自慰都没有过的马克，如何以美丽的心灵，自然而然地打动三名不同女子，并抱得娇妻——他用心灵拥抱他喜爱的女子。

电影里开明神父的表演也相当出彩，如果马克这孩子因为学习婚前性爱要下地狱的话，上帝也会皱皱眉吧。

本文发表于《环球荧幕》ipad版第二期

这是一部从朋友U盘拷来的电影，初看题目还以为会有些情色低俗的噱头.看完之后，内心异常感动.残疾人肉体上的残疾的确带来了很大的伤害，但是来自社会对于内心的压力造成的心理阴影是更大的阻碍.男主人公的生存状态展现出来的时候，本身就给人以心得震撼，我们心生怜悯，但是怜悯归于怜悯，就像他第一次追求表白的女孩那样，也许有着心灵上的沟通，但是面对一副丑陋脆弱的皮囊，终究退却了。

也许我们都应该学会什么是尊重，我们因为怜悯，所以忽略了他们的性需求，他们的诉求远远不是怜悯，需要我们把他们当正常人对待。

男主人公与牧师的对话，他努力地去冲破常规想法，给自己的勇气，爆发出的力量，确是常人难以企及的精神高度.就像Motel的老板Confused的那样，一个残疾人和一个女人，他们怎么能进去这么久.....这是因为他们的绽放是那么的有限而非凡.我们应该感动地为他们的勇气鼓掌，女辅导师的灵魂如此干净令人敬畏。

也能照出凡人心中的可耻和懦弱.我们每个人都需要一次心的洗礼.

马克·欧布莱恩曾在幼年时期患上过小儿麻痹症。

疾病的后遗症不仅让他再也没有站起来过，并且还让他饱受呼吸困难的折磨。

虽然已过而立之年的他早已成为一名成功的诗人兼记者，但作为一个男人，却从未尝试过性的滋味。

在向牧师朋友多次寻求指引 后，他毅然决定通过雇佣专业性从业者来帮助自己完成这个愿望。

于是谢尔出现在了马克的生活里。

然而对于马克这样特殊的情况，谢尔一开始也觉得无所适从。

但是渐渐地，两人不仅从医患关系变为朋友，谢尔同时也给予了马克追求幸福和爱的勇气，让马克迈出了追寻爱的第一步。

Let me touch you with my wordsFor my handsLie limp as empty gloves.Let my words stroke your hair.Slide down your back and tickle your belly.For my hands.Light and free-flying as bricks.Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refuse to carry out my quietest desires.Let my words enter your mind.Bearing torches.Admit them willingly into your being.So they may caress you gently,within.

让我用文字轻抚你因为我无用的手就像一双空手套让我的文字掠过你的秀发滑过你的后背轻搔你的肚子因为我那犹如砖块般虚晃的双手并不理会我的心志也坚决不肯完成我内心最深处的渴望让我的文字进入你的心灵让它们高举火把请欣然接受它们进入你的身体和心灵我的文字便能轻柔爱抚你的内心深处

在huffingtonpost上看到的，觉得有用就转了。

懒得翻译了，只写几点印象深刻的：CCG没有爱上Mark。

（我觉得这一点很重要，电影的设置因为这一点而比现实生活逊色很多，当然我们都能理解为什么要这样编剧本）曾经有过200多名surrogate，现在只有50名。

（经济不景气，需求萎缩啊）CCG因乳腺癌于2006年切除单侧乳房，她今年（2013）已经68岁，仍然战斗在工作第一线。

（这才是为革命事业奋斗终生）下面是原文：One of my favorite movies of the year is The Sessions, based on the true story of sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene and her work with Berkeley-based poet and journalist Mark O'Brien, who was confined to an iron lung after contracting polio at age 6. The story is riveting, and comprises the first chapter of Cheryl's memoir, An Intimate Life: Sex, Love, and My Journey as a Surrogate Partner.For forty years, Cheryl has worked in a career that has helped so many people, yet is greatly misunderstood. Here's what she had to say about her life as a sex surrogate:Lois Alter Mark: I absolutely loved The Sessions, and thought it was such a beautiful and important story that can really open people's minds. How accurate is the movie and what message do you hope viewers will come away with after seeing it?Cheryl Cohen Greene: Overall, I'm pleased with the level of accuracy in the movie. Of course, there are some things that the film couldn't show because of time limitations, but they really gave an accurate depiction of my work with Mark. The part about Mark and I falling in love was an exception. I would say we fell in like and we shared some very intense, loving moments. We stayed friends for years.I hope people will come away understanding how important sexuality is for everyone, including people with disabilities. They have the same needs and desires as those of us who don't live with a physical disability. Additionally, I hope people will have a better sense of who surrogate partners are and the services we provide. We offer people the education and experience that can help them move forward in their lives from a more secure, more knowledgeable place.LAM: Helen Hunt gives a beautiful performance that has deservedly been nominated for an Academy Award. How did it feel to watch her portray you? Did she have any specific questions before she started? What kind of advice did you give her?CCG: It was incredible! Helen observed me very closely. She herself has said that I'm a louder person than she is, but I really felt she got my energy into her portrayal. She asked a lot about how I work with people and the range of clients I have. We discussed my work with Mark and how I encouraged him to give me feedback. Once, I read the script to her in my own voice so she could get my Boston accent. She also invited me to her home and I demonstrated sensual touch, an exercise I do with clients, on her partner -- fully clothed. Much of what you see with Helen and John in the movie comes directly from my work with Mark. I did bring a mirror to our sessions so Mark could see himself, and I did touch him in much the same way Helen did.LAM: Because the movie focuses on just one of your clients, I found it fascinating to read your memoir afterwards. You have lived a very rich life, in a world most people have no idea even exists!CCG: Thank you. I agree! I've been very fortunate.LAM: It seems that the biggest misconception about surrogates is that they're no different than prostitutes. The movie and your book clearly show how off-base that perception is. I love that you say you're more like Julia Child than Xavier Hollander, and you compare seeing a surrogate to going to culinary school. Can you explain that a little?CCG: Well, if you go to a prostitute it's like going to a restaurant. You choose what you want for the menu, you eat and hopefully have a good meal, and then you pay accordingly. If you have a good experience, maybe you'll return or refer friends to them. With a surrogate, it's more like going to culinary school. You learn the recipes, you learn your way around the kitchen, and then you go back to your life equipped with new skills and knowledge. I've yet to find a better metaphor for explaining the difference.LAM: The world was a very different place when you originally started this career. How did you get into it and what does it take to be good at this job?CCG: It takes compassion and empathy -- not sympathy, but empathy. It also takes having a very good intuitive sense. Surrogates have a process that we follow, but as the work progressives, it really becomes more individualized and it's important for the surrogate to be able to pick up subtle cues from the client.I got into because it was meant to be! I had a sexually repressive childhood in which I was taught to believe that sex was dirty and wrong, but also that you were supposed to save it for the one you love. When I was pregnant with my first child, I went into therapy because I wanted my children to have a different and better experience from the one I had. In the process of working on myself, I really had to confront all of the shame and guilt I had about my sexuality. I was eventually able to work through it and free myself of it, even though it was intense. That made me believe that this was possible for others, too, and I wanted to help people not just overcome negative feelings about sexuality, but become more accepting and happy as sexual beings.LAM: Although sex is all over the place now and it seems like there's a no-holds-barred attitude, the number of surrogates has actually decreased since you started. Why is that? What have been the biggest changes you've seen in our sexual culture over the past 40 years?CCG: The biggest challenge has always been people's shame and guilt. In the sixties and seventies, people were rejecting that and trying to redefine their attitudes about sex. When AIDS happened, people became understandably scared and surrogates were no exception. A lot of them left the field. Those of us who stayed thought it was frightening too. We made a real effort to understand safer sex and to become condom positive. Most of our clients are low risk because they haven't had a lot of sex, but there was still a certain amount of risk that we faced. We had to have a new dialogue. Before AIDS, we asked if a client wanted to use a condom; now, it's taken as a given that he will, and if he refuses, we won't have intercourse. Surrogates became better sex educators because we had to be much better informed. We were up against something much more serious than syphilis and gonorrhea. There are only about 50 trained surrogates in the U.S. now. That number was up to around 200 in the seventies. We're trying to find young men and women to come into the field and I hope the movie will spark interest in the profession. LAM: What's the most difficult part of being a surrogate?CCG: The most difficult part is probably to not continue to be a surrogate when you're with your partner. We're trained to be highly aware of what the client does and feels. Surrogacy is highly client-centric and the surrogate has to be closely attuned to her client. Sex with a partner is a much more shared experience and you don't want to find yourself becoming a spectator or losing touch with your own body. It took a while for me to learn not to be a surrogate all the time.LAM: What's the scariest part?CCG: I don't really find anything scary about my work. People are often surprised to hear that. There have only been very few instances where I felt scared with a client. One I detail in An Intimate Life. The other was with a man who had a lot of unresolved anger at his ex-wife, whom I apparently looked like. All my clients are screened by the referring therapist and it's appropriate for them to be working with me. In truth, surrogacy is, at least initially, probably way scarier for them than it ever is for me.LAM: You are a breast cancer survivor, and you underwent a mastectomy in 2006. How did that affect your own body image as well as your practice?CCG: It threw me for a loop at first, but I knew instantly that I didn't want to stop working. I had to learn a new dialogue about my body. I found myself trying to come to grips with the loss of a friend. I loved my breast. I loved the sensation I had in my nipple and it happens that the breast I had removed was the more sensitive of the two. I took a philosophical attitude. I had both breasts at one time in my life, and I enjoyed them, but to be alive was more important.LAM: How has being a surrogate affected your personal relationships? CCG: I think I have richer personal relationships because of my work. Who I am and what I do is so different than what others do. I have fabulous friends and a loving husband, and my work has helped me be more empathetic and compassionate with all of them.LAM: You're 68 years old now and are still working. What's been the most rewarding part of your career? What do you see for the future?CCG: I'm going to continue my surrogacy practice for as long as I can. I love the idea of having a public platform and being able to do more education. One thing I would absolutely love to do is to serve as a sex educator for parents. How parents address sexuality has a huge impact on kids, and I'd like to make sure it's a positive one. I'd love to help give parents the knowledge and tools they need to raise happy and healthy kids.

偶然看到别人的推荐，真人真事，多次获奥斯卡奖提名。

一个小儿麻痹症患者，甚至呼吸困难，一个成功的诗人兼记者，一个从未尝试过性滋味的男人，再加一场特殊的专业性治疗，这一切是怎么回事？

会发生什么？

又怎样收场？

一连串的问号，让我第一次付费在网上看电影，只有5元，2天时间。

不错。

它就该叫：The Sessions先说说片名，亲密治疗、性福疗程、圣手回春，都不及原名：The Sessions，简单，准确，又意味深长。。。。。。

这才是创作的态度。

赞一个。

（奇怪，老美就不要商业吗？

）再说海报，看了许多国家的海报，唯有美国这一张最有感觉。

马克在右下角，莎若在左上角，马克躺在那里，你明显感到他身体的无力，但两个人之间有一种强大的吸引力，你能感受到他的向往、渴望和追求。。。

这才是本片的真谛。

举重若轻我看到很多人在评论这部片子时用了一个词：举重若轻，用得真好，我也想说：举重若轻。

一个只有头部能够转动的瘫痪者，卧室里只有一架铁肺，离开它只能生存三个小时，这是什么样的日子啊，想想都犹如自己绑着一架巨大又沉重的铁肺，它当然不是帮助你呼吸，而是压得你呼吸不过来。

但是这部片子没有悲伤，没有报怨，甚至没有怜悯他自然、安详、平静地生活中，渴望爱和被爱，一如常人一般。

他是困在瘫痪躯壳中的活泼灵魂，这句话评价他很到位。

最难忘的是停电那夜，铁肺停运，电话求助友人不在，在他只有三个小时的生死攸关时刻，他只是平静地说了一句：原来这是我的尽头。

看到这里，不禁长长舒了一口气：生命，原来可以如此坦然与从容，不过是多过一天是一天，多吸一口是一口啊。

喜欢莎若第一次出场就很有气场，一件花衬衣，外搭一件外套毛衣，再加一件牛仔裤，自信、漂亮、职业、有品味。

她的出场，所有疑虑都被打消，落落大方，不卑不亢，活脱脱地把一个性工作者，演绎出了办公室职场女主管的味道（所以不能接受那些比较暧昧的海报）。

一个受人尊敬的高层知性美女，赞一个。

欣赏她对人对事的态度，第一次上课的自信、利落，她对马克的鼓励与赞扬，为避免感情纠结主动结束课程，对老公偷看信件的不妥协等等，态度鲜明，让人不得不赞。

但她也有小女人的一面，比如深夜偷偷从垃圾桶里翻找马克的信，最后一次课程的不舍与不得已，在护工给她最后一笔钱时，她终于不再矜持，泪流满面。

看她每一次的课后总结录音，都在发生变化，尤其是到最后一次的课后录音，声音不再干净利落，很多东西似乎欲言而止。

教堂真好看了这部片子，我才明白教堂的好处。

马克仿佛天天都跑教堂，把自己做的事，自己的感想与困惑，都跟牧师讲，原来牧师是专职心理辅导的，呵呵，西方真是人性啊， 倾诉，原本就是人最基本的需求。

马克留下的情诗Love Poem for No One in Particular　Let me touch you with my words　For my hands　Lie limp as empty gloves.　Let my words stroke your hair.　Slide down your back and tickle your belly.　For my hands.　Light and free-flying as bricks.　Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refuse to carry out my quietest desires.　Let my words enter your mind.　Bearing torches.　Admit them willingly into your being.　So they may caress you gently,within.献给随便那个谁的情诗让我用文字轻抚你因为我的手犹如空手套般瘫软让我的文字掠过你的秀发抚过你的背部，轻搔你的肚子因为我那犹如砖块般虚见的双手并不理会我的心志，也坚决不肯完成我内心最深处的渴望让我的文字进入你的心让它们高举火把请欣然接受它们进入你的身心灵我的文字便能轻柔爱抚你心深处最后，我想用这句话来结束：生命象半杯水，有人说是半空，有人说半满，要看你乐不乐观。

deeply touched. 非常精准，连过渡都不是无谓的，像是把浩瀚如汪洋的深刻感受和体会全部浓缩到一个个简洁的片段里。

虽然……Mark的表现不足以让我理解为什么女性会爱上他，我也不相信她真的能高潮。

非常多戳点，比如她拿着镜子对他说，It's your body. 最动人的，是每一个体验都非常深刻，像是在巨大的空间里呼啸兜转了多年后，吐出的一个轻声而简短的叹息。

但仅从那表面的平静叹息里，都能些微地感受到底下猛烈盘旋的风。

feelings are mixed, and that is why it is perfect. Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refused to carry out my quietest desire. Bury the torches.

Mark O'Brien 因6岁患上小儿麻痹，导致脖子以下瘫痪，甚至因呼吸存在困难，需要靠铁肺给他提供足够的氧气而时而需要生活在其中。

与史铁生一样，他没有让残障定义自己，却用其相对短暂的一生，通过写作和参与不同社会活动，致力于唤起美国社会对残障人士生存状态和应给予其同等尊重与权利的重视与支持。

他是诗人，也是记者。

这部电影改编于他的给《太阳报》(The Sun)写的On Seeing a Sex Surrogate。

尽管这部电影主要部分围绕着“疗程”展开，但开篇和结尾给出了，为何Mark决定寻求Cheryl帮助、这个经历于他的意义的答案。

“性”，于他生活在身患小儿麻痹症的身体来说，本是他不可想象，甚至是在他生活的天主教家庭/环境，恐惧提及的事。

即便他对一位照护者心生爱意也勇敢表达了，这个话题或许被想起却未被公开提及。

而当他因接受约稿的机缘，接触到性于残障人士的议题，他开始以记者的身份了解到，原来性生活对许多身患残障的人来说，并不是禁忌，对他们身体健全的伴侣来说，也不是猎奇；而作为一个37岁的处男，亲密行为，是他首先为自己，可以去想象甚至尝试去做的事。

要鼓起勇气走出这一步，他去寻求了牧师的指点，去寻找了医生的帮助，得到了身边朋友和照护者的支持，遇到了帮助人们克服性生活障碍的专业人士Cheryl。

“最多六次疗程”，Cheryl第一次见面就告诉他，这样的边界属于专业性的一部分。

每一次疗程都是一种突破——对身体的体验、对身体的理解、对身体的把控、对身体和自我的接受的突破——而Mark的进步，在Cheryl的悉心指点下，在周围朋友的鼓励下，是超乎他俩第一次拘谨且效果并不太好的疗程所能想象的。

乃至当第四次疗程结束后，两人共同商议决定停止治疗：Mark不再需要这样的治疗去告诉他如何过好性生活了。

就像影片一开始，电视台报道他在UC Berckely成功完成学业，获得文学学士学位一样，在这个关乎身体和自我接纳与成长的课堂，Mark以令人惊叹的成绩毕业了【电影中对Mark与Cheryl关系还进行了一定浪漫化处理】。

或许命运使然，在随后遭遇因停电铁肺暂停的事故几近死亡时，在医院，Mark遇到了喜欢诗歌的志愿者Susan，而他可以毫不掩饰其骄傲和快乐地告诉这一见钟情的人：“我不是处男”。

即便此处有戏剧化的成分——毕竟是电影——还是会让人跟着他和Susan会心一笑。

而正如治疗中遇到困难向牧师倾诉的Mark，听到牧师的回答——你是一个诗人，用你诗人的方法去回应Cheryl的治疗——时，屏幕内外也会一笑一样，Mark与Susan与屏幕前的你我的一笑，既是Mark对自己能给未来的伴侣提供全面的幸福体验的信心，又是他带些孩子气的勇敢与率真的真情流露。

这里，束缚他的身体解放了性话题在社会的一般禁忌。

这里，爱的讨喜与生命的可能融为一体。

Mark这篇纪实性报道发表于1990年，影片上映于2012年。

1999年，49岁的诗人Mark离开了人间，他的诗集、散文和自传 How I Became a Human Being: A Disabled Man's Quest for Independence，和讲述他故事的诗歌、报道、影片一道，成为留给爱他和他爱的人世间的一笔财富。

生活在2024年年尾的你我，看到这部片子，对我们的身体、对我们对残缺对不完整对陌生对过去和未知的恐惧、对我们可以做出改变的选择，是否也能有诗意般的回答与行动呢？

推荐阅读：Chana Bloch, 2013, My sessions with Mark, The Poetry Foundation: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69959/my-sessions-with-mark